letter to the horse.

this is the first letter that i am going to send out to a wealthy individual, individuals, that might like to trickle some money my way. you can copy it and paste it and use for your own if you'd like. just change the name and use your own address of course. i'd hate to get more than what is coming and owed to me. if you do use it, or if you just write a letter of your own, feel free to send me a copy of it and i will happily post it on my trickle down blog. i will also post any and all responses that i get, along with amounts of money so that we can keep a fair tally. hopefully soon we will all be sharing in the monetary bliss of the wealthy and generous.

thanks,
darby


Dear exceedingly wealthy person.

My name is Darby Crass. I am an American and I am in my 30’s.
I have very little formal education and I’ve lived my whole life so far
as a working class American. It isn’t too bad. There have been a
few Christmases that were a bit skinny, and more than a few times
that I’ve had to make tough choices; like whether to eat, or buy warm
clothing, but overall I have had few complaints.
I know you are a busy person so I will keep this brief. I am writing
on behalf of myself and many other voiceless Americans. I’m writing
to tell you about a plan the United States government has had that
hasn’t really been put in to action. I am assuming that is only
because people are not aware of it. It’s called the “trickle down theory”.
To explain it simply it generally means that wealthy Americans, such
as yourself, are given substantial tax breaks so that you might keep
a higher percentage of your wealth and have so much left over that
you will use it to stimulate the American economy thus benefiting all
of America’s underclass. When I say that this trickle down plan has
not been put in to action I really mean that the second part of the plan
has failed to be effective, because most certainly one president after
another has protected the most wealthy of Americans term after term.
I believe it is time for the second part of the promise to be put in to
effect. That is where you come in. You are of course the solution to
this problem. You can take action and make right what has been
wrong for so long. In fact, this has been going on so long, under
different guises that it was once know as the “horse and sparrow”
theory. The trickle down theory is the exact same idea, just
without feces being involved.
I don’t really know how to calculate how much money in reparations
each of us deserves but of course anything at this point would help.
I will accompany this letter with a self addressed stamped envelope.
I sincerely thank you for your time and attention in this matter. Only
when we take action can we solve problems and make America
stronger. Please take in to consideration all of the advantages you
have enjoyed over the years and give back accordingly.
Sincerely,
Darby Crass

robert bass

i'm assuming robert bass is the one on the left in this photo. it says that he is sixty years old. i think the person on the left is well under sixty. i wanted to digress just a second and remind everyone that this trickle down blog is somewhat backwards in nature. i started it with the wealthiest of all americans and am heading down towards the least, but still astoundingly wealthy. robert bass inherited his money, but has also made his own money. his money comes from oil and gas. like i've said in previous posts, people that made their money from oil and gas are my absolute favorites to contact. on top of having a stranglehold on the american people who have been relegated to having to drive to get anywhere, they get subsidies, and huge tax cuts, from the american government, large and often. i noticed that so far i haven't had any wind turbine construction billionaires on this list, nor any of the solar power moguls that surely must be out there. why is that? partly because the government gave laughably tiny subsidies to wind and solar companies and then discontinued them altogether while continuing to give them to oil companies and increasing them. no one has benefited more than oil and gas companies and their wealthy owners from the enormous tax cuts that have been given for generations now. these people deserve our letters more than anyone on this long list. insurance companies are in a close second. we'll get to them soon. please send as many letters as you have stamps for to robert bass requesting your trickle down reparations.
65 E. 55th St., 32nd Fl.
New York, NY 10022-8112
United States
Phone: 212-527-8400

charles schwab

some of you have heard of charles schwab. likely i don't have to tell you much about him. all you really need to know is that he is one of the fortunate americans that has more money on his own than you and all the people you know will have in all of your lifetimes. please contact charles soon as his stock has been slipping now for many years. it's time to strike while the iron is hot. please contact charles schwab at this address.
120 Kearny St.
San Francisco, CA 94104
United States
Phone: 415-636-7000
Fax: 415-636-9820
Toll Free: 800-648-5300

samuel zell

that is the contented smile of a self made multi billionaire. i have recently taken a break from my self imposed work of listing all of the wealthiest americans. it's all part of my quest to make the truly ingenious trickle down plan work. the same idea has been around for quite some time. it was once known as the "horse and sparrow" theory. it's a little more down to earth, less like an economist created it, and also is more honest. the idea was that if the "horse" had plenty of grain and had it's fill that the "sparrow" would then be able to pick through the horse feces and take what was left over. i wonder why they went away from that theory and changed to the trickle down? so, i've taken a small break and now am back and ready to deliver more addresses and phone numbers for you to call upon the wealthy during these dark days of financial dis-harmony. the sparrow is suffering in other words.
this happy self made fellow is samuel zell. he is worth 6 billion dollars. he made his money through real estate and private equity. more terms i don't really understand. he's also in to the leveraged buyouts. i hope it makes him happy for years to come. in the mean time i think we should contact samuel zell and tell him that the long awaited trickling can start at any time now, but preferably sooner than later. let me see, where can we reach sam? ah yes, he leveraged and bought out the tribune company. a perfect place to reach him. the address is as follows.
435 N. Michigan Ave.
Chicago, IL 60611
United States
Phone: 312-222-9100
Fax: 312-222-1573